Sunday, December 29, 2013

Friends and Potties

The other day we had a long overdue play date with some of Colin and Kailey's first friends at their old daycare.  Both sets of siblings were in each other's classes and always got along so well.  We have always been so grateful for Lilly as she has always been such a good friend to Colin.  It's funny because they all haven't seen each other in quite a bit of time now but picked up right where they left off in playing with each other. 
At one point while we were at their house, I went in one of their bedrooms to check Colin and Kailey's pull-ups and realized at the same time Lilly was telling me that Colin didn't have a pull-up on.  Lilly told me that she asked Colin if he had to go potty, he said yes, and he went for her (they had set up the stool in front of the potty for him).  She even told me he got a little on the seat so she cleaned it up for him.  I was in awe that this had gone so smoothly, all without our knowledge. 
Now that Christmas is over, I feel like I can be a little bit negative again to tell you that potty training is awful.  It is so awful that the other night (the night BEFORE our play date with Lilly and Finn) I started crying as Colin resisted going again before bedtime because I feel like we have gone NOWHERE.  Like, even  my quote unquote TYPICAL child is a nightmare with all of this.  

I honestly have no idea what to do or try anymore.  I understand that this progress will be different for Colin than Kailey; however, then we see tiny little miniscule glimpses that show us Colin knows exactly what he is doing.  In the past few weeks (I'd say about 3-4 weeks) Colin's whole demeanor about the potty business changed and he became extremely resistant again.  I have decided to remain forceful because we are at a point now where I don't think it's appropriate to back off simply because he is fighting it (he's 4.5 for goodness sakes).  So we'll stay in the bathroom through the tears until he will eventually go.  I know his "schedule" well enough to know what times he should be going and when there is no point in bothering.   He's even taken up hitting me when I carry him to the bathroom (no one else) and some times I'll get mad at him for hitting and other times I pretend as though he's not doing it.  Much like with anything, he will occasionally surprise us and it will generally go smoothly and/or he will stay dry all day on this schedule.   Even when there are tears getting him there, as soon as you praise him for going, he is happy.

Kailey is a disaster, herself.  We have tried EVERYTHING with her because rewards work on her for most things.  She loves her sweets and chocolates so we have tried telling her she can have a Hershey kiss for going on the potty and the "special chocolate" (aka, caramel filled Santa) for staying dry AND going.  It works one time and then she's wet again.  I tried leaving her in underwear all day the other day and she could relatively care less when she was wet. 

With ALL of the challenges we have faced with Colin we knew there was an end in site and we knew he would eventually accomplish those challenges.  Not only do I feel like we are NEVER going to get our children potty trained, I feel like an utter failure in trying to get there.  

Some days I remain positive and just keeping pushing through (it is part of our routine after all) but other days I can't believe it is THIS bad.  I try to "keep my cool" with them and lose it in private but it's becoming increasingly harder to do that.  Any and all suggestions would be welcome!!


Anonymous said...

miserable times for sure! I kept my children in the kitchen with me when potty training and gave them so much to drink - chocolate milk, pop anything - just lots to drink. They did get it rather quickly this way.
Good luck!

Dayna said...

Kelli, I feel your pain! Luke is almost 8 and it is still a work in progress for him. (He has autism as well as Ds so don't panic! lol) I've heard 6 was the average age for boys with Ds to be fully potty trained (I've also heard 8) so you are still ahead of the game.
When Luke was totally resistant we took a break and started again in a few months.
Hang in there! This too shall pass!!