There have been so many times throughout this journey where I have certainly had my moments where things have been hard and overwhelming and frustrating.
...but I have also had many more moments where I have been uplifted, inspired, and can feel so much love that I feel like I will burst.
I had to take Colin today for an ultrasound appointment (more on that at another time) and him and I were sitting in the waiting room together. An older couple came right up to us and were gushing over how beautiful Colin is. She then said "He is so special just like our Johnny is".
There were moments where I would felt upset because they "saw it". But I didn't feel that way today. This woman was so gentle and so kind and she shared her story with me about her 30 year old nephew who was so loved and so happy. So I shared my story and was so proud of myself because it felt so comfortable and easy.
And then the moment came...we had gone back to ourselves for a little bit and were sitting in comfortable silence when she said to me..."you know, special babies are given to special people...you must be a very special person"...
I do feel special because of Colin...
...because I feel so much love from friends and family for Chris and I and most especially, for Colin.
...because I feel how much Colin loves me, especially when I walk into the room and he gives me the biggest most heartfelt smile (that makes his eyes all squinty!).
...because I have met so many people both in the electronic world, and in person, who are special people. I cry when you cry, I laugh when you laugh, and I clap the loudest claps at all of you and your children's accomplishments. I crave this family and am thankful for it.
...because we have been so blessed to have 2 new people in our lives (Miss D and Miss K) who are so supportive and push us and Colin to higher limits.
...because his presence in my life has changed me. Because of Colin I am learning patience, I am learning that things don't necessarily have to happen the way they are supposed to, or on the timeline that they are "supposed to", and I am learning to slow down.
...because of Colin, I learn new things every day.
I have seen on lots of blogs today a post about the birth story of Nella by Kelle at Enjoying the Small things. I never would have found this post if it weren't for Colin's presence in my life. This post moved me so deeply that I can't find the words to explain how. Kelle put so beautifully in words my feelings, my thoughts, my emotions. I understand....