Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thankful...

There have been so many times throughout this journey where I have certainly had my moments where things have been hard and overwhelming and frustrating.

...but I have also had many more moments where I have been uplifted, inspired, and can feel so much love that I feel like I will burst.

I had to take Colin today for an ultrasound appointment (more on that at another time) and him and I were sitting in the waiting room together. An older couple came right up to us and were gushing over how beautiful Colin is. She then said "He is so special just like our Johnny is".

There were moments where I would felt upset because they "saw it". But I didn't feel that way today. This woman was so gentle and so kind and she shared her story with me about her 30 year old nephew who was so loved and so happy. So I shared my story and was so proud of myself because it felt so comfortable and easy.

And then the moment came...we had gone back to ourselves for a little bit and were sitting in comfortable silence when she said to me..."you know, special babies are given to special people...you must be a very special person"...

I do feel special because of Colin...

...because I feel so much love from friends and family for Chris and I and most especially, for Colin.

...because I feel how much Colin loves me, especially when I walk into the room and he gives me the biggest most heartfelt smile (that makes his eyes all squinty!).

...because I have met so many people both in the electronic world, and in person, who are special people. I cry when you cry, I laugh when you laugh, and I clap the loudest claps at all of you and your children's accomplishments. I crave this family and am thankful for it.

...because we have been so blessed to have 2 new people in our lives (Miss D and Miss K) who are so supportive and push us and Colin to higher limits.

...because his presence in my life has changed me. Because of Colin I am learning patience, I am learning that things don't necessarily have to happen the way they are supposed to, or on the timeline that they are "supposed to", and I am learning to slow down.

...because of Colin, I learn new things every day.

I have seen on lots of blogs today a post about the birth story of Nella by Kelle at Enjoying the Small things. I never would have found this post if it weren't for Colin's presence in my life. This post moved me so deeply that I can't find the words to explain how. Kelle put so beautifully in words my feelings, my thoughts, my emotions. I understand....

9 comments:

Team Carter Jay said...

Truly excellent post! I feel the same way ;)...aren't we lucky?!

Natalia said...

your blog was absoultely beautiful!! also, i just spent the last hour reading through kelle's blog after your recommendation...and it was well worth the read. thank you so much for sharing. between your blog tonight and what i read of kelle's, my heart has truly been touched. i cannot even put into words what i am feeling right now except that my heart is overwhelmed with love.


and on that note, i love you!

Jorie said...

100% agree with Natalia! Thank you for suggesting Kelle's blog to me and thank you for being such an incredible mom and friend! Love you!

Kelly said...

Very moving post. Thanks so much for sharing this Kelli:) Could not have been said any better. I too read through Kelle's blog and was moved and touched. It's so reassuring to be part of this community of people who share their (true & real)experiences with so much pride and joy! I've been doing lots of thinking lately with Landon's first birthday approaching next week on how much he has accomplished and how much I have grown as a mother. Raw emotion is such a big part of this journey. It allows us to heal, live, learn, love and grow! So, thank you Kelli, for sharing this post and reminding us all how "lucky" we truly are. I look forward to following your journey!

Kendra said...

Haven't posted a comment on your blog before, but I enjoy your blog. My Alexis was born on April 7, 2009 and has Down syndrome. We have yet to have a stranger come up to us and comment on her Down syndrome, but I'm waiting for the day. I'm a bit nervous for when that first time happens...what my reaction will be.

I enjoy reading about little Colin. I can tell he's a very loved little guy!

Kendra
www.littlesomethingextra.blogspot.com

Nana said...

This has all been so touching and so emotional! Colin is a blessed little boy to have so much love! What a great forum for all of you that need each other! God Bless all of you special people and parents! Love, Nana

Natalia said...

i just wanted to make note one more time how much i LOVE this blog :)

Lori said...

What a beautiful post! Thanks so much for sharing with us.
I, too, love those full-faced, squinty eyes smiles =) Just last night my husband said to me..."When Charlie and Paige smile, I smile, too. But, when Anna smiles, my whole heart and soul smile"

amy said...

it's so funny. when i read your blog, i find myself shaking my head up and down, over and over again, in agreement with it. all of it. and colin, well, he's just a ray of sunshine!