When I look back over my life and think about all of things that have been major challenges, I find myself forgetting what they felt like. Even when I think about those moments shortly after Colin was born and we were told that he has Down Syndrome, I don't remember the worst of it (and that's not me putting that time lightly, it's just that so much time has passed and life is so normal, it doesn't feel as the "worst" time anymore). I'll obviously never forget what those moments brought us, but I've lost so much of what it used to feel like. Two childbirths even seems like a distant memory...
Potty training? That's a pretty fresh challenge and I know what that feels like. Now I know that I'm being pretty dramatic when I say all of this but right NOW, THIS feels like THE hardest challenge I've faced yet. (Believe me, one day I am sure I will have moved onto something else and this will be a distance memory.)
With all of the transitions taking place in going back to school, BOTH Colin and Kailey have been having some pretty big struggles. This was a rough weekend for both and we've been having way more accidents than successes. Most days I can maintain my patience and understand that this a process, and it's called training for a reason, but on some few days like this weekend I become an emotional wreck and don't know how I am going to do this for one more day.
I think what makes me so emotional is the fear of going backwards which is essentially what I feel like happened now. Somewhere along the way, someone made a comment on one of my blog posts when Colin went back to school and initially had some struggles that Colin hasn't forgotten what we taught him but is adjusting to the changes and new routines (that completely true).
I don't have a blind eye to the positives because I see the things Colin still remembers and has learned through all of this. He still tells us most of the time when we are at home (even if it's after he's gone already) and pretty willingly goes to the bathroom after telling us it's time.
I am more surprised with all of this with Kailey (my typical child) that it hasn't been a smoother process. She seemed to have picked it up pretty quickly but lately, she is having many accidents. I know she is still "young" but she completely understands the process. I thought that once she went back to school, she would start to improve once again because it was what "everyone" was doing.
So, now that I've regrouped (once again, for the 10th time) we'll continue to work at this for as long as it takes (and boy does that feel like forever! Yes, dramatic again, I know).
I have been more ok with putting the kids in pullups when it's necessary (for Colin, that's all of the time at school) and that has helped with some of my stress about all of this that I've let go a bit.
I am also trying to stress less because I have found that Colin does the best when it's just us and no one else around and/or activities/events going on. The fact that I know this has helped me ease up a bit.
Before all of the messes and accidents, we spent a beautiful September Saturday morning at the beach.
The kids had a fun time and I have to laugh because Colin even told me he needed to go to the car to go potty (we have a travel potty in there) 3 times (we went back twice) and he actually went.
So once again, this post was more for myself to remind myself that there are positives and they didn't forget EVERYTHING they learned....
...and for me to be 100% honest about the emotional mess I've become over potty training.
I can't wait for the day I look back on all of this and laugh at the potty training ordeal as I'm crying over the next challenge....haha.