We are now at the ages with both kids that we spend a LOT of time working on behavior for both of them. While we do spend a good time in "wedded bliss", i.e., they happily play together, this is certainly not the majority. I feel that our biggest issue right now in terms of Colin's behavior is his continued difficulty in communication. While we have seen some good progress since he started back up at school again in September, he still lacks the ability to effectively tell someone when he doesn't want them doing something to him, with him, for him, etc. For example, our biggest hurdle we are tackling right now is the fact that instead of using words to tell someone he doesn't want something when they are in his personal space, he will push instead. This happens a LOT with Kailey because she will get too close or ask Colin for something and his immediate response some of those times is just to push her away. He uses key words like "no, stop, go" but often can't connect them to WHAT he is staying no, stop, or go (go away) to.
While Kailey's responses aren't so physical, her behavior is just as evident as Colin's. Kailey is Miss DRAMA! She can hold a solid "grudge" (hands over her face, huffing, not looking at you) for a solid 5-10 minutes before she will speak again. We are trying not to feed into the drama at all because just like we don't want Colin thinking pushing is ok, we also don't want her thinking that HER behaviors are ok either.
While many times I feel like I am out of my chair every 2 seconds, I do think that Chris and I are consistent with our discipline. Some days it feels really frustrating because we don't feel like we are doing anything right (especially when they continue a behavior over and over and over again) I do know and try to remind myself that a lot of it IS their ages and as long as we continue to be consistent and follow through, I think we will see the rewards when the time comes. Colin KNOWS when he does something wrong which is evident with his body language, Kailey quickly reacts and tries to butter back up, and even if it takes 10 times of telling them to pick up the mess they just made, with assistance, they will do it. I just keep in the back of my mind something one of the teachers at Colin's school said at a behavior talk...."if you make a demand of the child (pick _______ up), you keep the demand going until they follow through no matter how long it takes". However, she did also say that you shouldn't place a demand on a child that you want them to follow through with if you don't have the time to follow through (for example, rushing to get out the door). So, we just keep the demand going around here! (Even though we don't always FEEL like getting up 100 times!).