When Colin was born, Chris and I were so nervous about everything because we had such a fear of the unknown. We had no idea where to start or what to do because it was all so overwhelming to us. We quickly learned about Early Intervention and as soon as the day passed it was confirmed he had Down Syndrome (our lowest of lows), we were on the phone scheduling the initial consultation for an evaluation. Since Colin was only 2 weeks old, the woman I spoke to was shocked that we were already calling.
Just shy of Colin's 4 week birthday, a team came out to evaluate Colin and we were so happy because he was so alert and active while they were at our house. Since it was so new to us, we felt as though we had to "show off" what Colin could do. We were so happy that he was lifting his head and showing them that he could roll over already. Things started to feel a little bit better because we had a place to start, suggestions on what we could work on, and a "plan" for where we were going to go.
When we started with physical therapy and developmental intervention, we felt like we had to do every.single.thing. the therapists suggested. We were crazed with tummy time, clapping blocks, and the exercise ball. In fact, we would have babysitters and as part of the note for the day we would tell them what exercises to work on! But, we had a plan and it was relatively easy to follow. As time has gone by, we have most obviously faced our challenges, but overall things have gotten easier. We know when it's time to schedule check-ups, we don't fear evaluations because our team is made of our friends, and we just follow the plan. Most importantly, we just live life and take things one day at a time.
However, Colin is turning 3 in April, which means we have started the process of registering him for school so that he can start at that time. The butterflies and anxiety and nervousness has started back up again because we are starting a new chapter and are facing so much unknown. After I dropped the registration packet off the other day, I received the phone call about setting up the meeting to basically tell us that he is going to be evaluated. I was given a date with a time that fell midday that was relatively short notice. I explained that I work full time and while I fully anticipate to have to take some time for the meetings, I really can't afford to take a full day at this time and could they schedule it early morning or late afternoon. I received a follow up call on Tuesday for today (again, way to short notice) and I explained again our situation. She said she would follow up and I haven't heard back again.
I just felt like I don't want to do this. I don't want to have to do this. We haven't even scheduled the first meeting and I am anxious. I think back to those first few weeks again and know that once we get into this, start going to the meetings, and he finally gets to school, we will be Ok because it will become our new normal.
...it's just the anticipation that makes me nervous. I feel like we are starting all over again from the beginning. I just felt like it was something I had to get off my chest because as always, we will be fine and will figure out what we need to do and will find the best fit for Colin.
Most especially, I can't believe my baby is approaching 3!