How Sweet it is...

On my rip-off calendar today there was a quote that said something along the lines of "You can't touch love, but you feel the sweetness of it all around you". It's been on my mind all day long and as I was thinking about it with the start of this post, the James Taylor song also popped into my head "how sweet it is to be loved by you".

Colin will be a 1 year old on Tuesday and thinking about it has brought up so many feelings of his birth. I can not believe how far Chris and I have come in 1 year! I can look back and see Chris and I sitting on the love seat in our living room while Colin slept in his bouncy seat sobbing uncontrollably at the confirmed diagnosis of Down Syndrome. I knew that the test results would come back positive, but I needed to hear the words in order for it to become real. All I could think about was the future and how we would ever be able to handle raising a child who needed so much more.

I get teary eyed looking back at us sitting there because I do feel really bad for us then. The future was so scary and unknown and we didn't even know where to start! After I called my parents that day, they got in the car and drove down and sat there with us. All I kept asking was "what do we do from here?"

It's crazy to even admit this now because I feel so badly about it, but I think it was part of the journey I needed to go through in order to be where I am now. Now I get teary eyed because I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without Colin and his extra chromosome! Chris and I are better people because of Colin.

I read posts from all of you about your wonderful children and I would never have been able to be part of such a wonderful group of families if Colin was never a part of my life. I have never even met any of you and yet I talk about you to my friends and family as if we are old friends. I can't wait until I can check my blogroll and read about what you have been up to and the many things your kids are accomplishing. I may not be able to touch that love, but I feel the sweetness of it all around me.

Yes, the day Colin was born and for a little while afterwards I was really sad. I thought Colin's diagnosis was something bad, but I just couldn't see the possiblities yet. I just hadn't met any of you and your kids yet, I hadn't met all of the great people at the Special Olympics, and Colin hadn't showed me yet how sweet his kind of love really was. It's really all just beginning. Colin's 1st birthday marks a year of growing and changing and learning. It's a day to look back and really see how far we have all come as a family. How sweet it truly is!

How sweet it is to be loved by you

How sweet it is to be loved by you

I needed the shelter of someone's arms and there you were

I needed someone to understand my ups and downs and there you were

With sweet love and devotion

Deeply touching my emotion

I want to stop and thank you baby

I just want to stop and thank you baby

How sweet it is to be loved by you

How sweet it is to be loved by you

I close my eyes at night

Wondering where would I be without you in my life

Everything I did was just a bore

Everywhere I went it seems I'd been there before

But you brighten up for me all of my days

With a love so sweet in so many ways

I want to stop and thank you baby

I just want to stop and thank you baby

How sweet it is to be loved by you

How sweet it is to be loved by you

You were better for me than I was for myself

For me, there's you and there ain't nobody else

I want to stop and thank you baby

I just want to stop and thank you baby

How sweet it is to be loved by you

How sweet it is to be loved by you