...On Behavior and Transitions

I received a call today from Colin's teacher at the day care that while he was laying on his mat at naptime next to his friend, he bit her finger.  I was honestly quite surprised because we have only experienced this 3 other times, 2 of which were while he was at that daycare we were unhappy with for the short period of time last year.  I am confident it wasn't a malicious bite based on the setting she described, but it's still always hard for me to hear behavior reports.  Apparently he was pretty mischievous at his public school today as well with coloring on the carpet, sticking his hand in the toilet and "missing" the toilet while going to the bathroom today.  When I told Chris about those ones he laughed and said "isn't that just typical toddler boy stuff?".  Sometimes I do have to remind myself that Colin IS still JUST a toddler who challenges just like other 4 year old boys.  However, despite this I still handled the behavior issues and got what I expected in return...Colin hanging his head when I asked about what he did today. 

 

This just added to all that I have had on my mind this week as we start to get ready for Colin's IEP meeting that begins the transition process to Kindergarten.  After speaking with our case manager, I know that this will be introducing us to the process that lies ahead including testing and placement options so it was a relief to know that the first meeting next week isn't where we have to make any decisions.  We have been very fortunate that we have a team that have been very easy to work with and who have made such great progress with Colin while he has been in the preschool program.  



 

 



Chris and I have always had some pretty strong feelings on where with think Colin's future will lead him but we are also open to variations based on where his needs are.  Our district went to full day kindergarten at the start of the school year this year but unfortunately, segregated the kindergarten special education classes into a separate building than the home schools where the rest of the kindergarteners attend.  That leaves no inclusive opportunities into typical kindergarten classrooms and challenges the very idea of what we expect and want for Colin.  

We know we are being presented with some challenges that we will have to work through and just like everything else, am sure it won't be easy.  It's honestly scary to think about making big decisions that impact the start of Colin's educational journey but also know all we can do is the best we can...

...stay tuned for our IEP experience as it's going to be very new for us!

Christmas Tree Decorating Part 1

Given that we have very little time together on the weekends because of Chris' work schedule, we decided to get our Christmas tree last night so that we could decorate it and have it up for awhile prior to Christmas. The kids are REALLY into Christmas this year, so I was looking forward to their reactions to having an actual Christmas tree in our house again.  We have had some fun stories in going to get our tree together (like me making Chris WALK to get it because I thought it would be a great memorable experience and it was actually a LOT farther than we thought) but in the past 2 years, it has been a lot easier for me to swing by the local farm market and pick up our tree.  For us, the most memorable part is the decorating so maybe one day in the future we will have some different experiences in picking out the trees with the kids.  

When I got to the kids' school to pick them up, they were excited to see the tree on top of the car.  We quickly ate dinner and then got the tree in the stand.  We had tested the lights in the morning and they all worked fine but as soon as we got them on the tree and plugged in, the middle strand failed.  Since we didn't have a back up and it was already almost 8pm, we decided to scrap the decorating until we got a new strand.  

Fast forward to 5am....just after Colin had come walking in our room and got in bed with us, we heard a crash and the tree fell over.  So, at 5am, we had to clean up the water that had spilled all over the floor and cut the base down considerably with a crappy $10 saw with the help of Colin.  He kept asking us "what are you doing?" and then telling us he was a good helper when he would hold a branch.  

The bright spot was that due to the light strand failure, there were no decorations on the tree so it was significantly less cleanup than it COULD have been.  

Stay tuned for part 2!

Thankfulness in Pictures

It can often be difficult in our daily lives to specifically think about the things we are thankful for because we get caught up in the schedules and challenges.  Some days are certainly more challenging than others with two toddlers, but I am reminded this week to find little blessings even in the most mundane of schedules.  

Kailey is very challenging these days but the very same things that make her difficult are also the things that make her an incredibly loving and caring little girl, particularly with her big brother.  Her language and communication amazes me every day, but I especially love hearing it when she is patient and understanding with Colin.  In this picture, she walked over to me shortly after waking up and said "mommy, this is my friend baby!".  

I think back to the days when Colin's feeding issues and challenges were consuming and overwhelming, especially when we were so worried with how many calories he was taking in in a day and whether or not it was affecting weight gain.  However, we learned to let some of those anxieties go and put our trust in Colin's feeding therapist who has helped all of us to make such positive strides.  Not too long ago, Colin was ONLY eating cottage cheese with mashed berries, yogurt (specific to packaging), pudding and ice cream and now he has added chunks of berries (without cottage cheese), pizza, various noodles and pasta sauce, pancakes, cheese, fruit snacks, and is open to trying different things.  

Prior to children, life for Chris and I was pretty "easy".  It's often difficult on a relationship when you add two toddlers, full time work schedules, the upkeep on a home, financial worries, and parenting trials into the mix but we've figured out how to make life work for both of us.  While life isn't always "easy" these days, I wouldn't ask to be taking this journey with anyone else.  I am so grateful for Chris' love for me and our family...

I am thankful for the village that helps our family.  My sister and I are 5 years apart and growing up it felt like there was such a gap between us.  However, that gap has been bridged as my sister has become my friend and has helped us tremendously through the years with the kids.  We are so grateful for all she does....

I am thankful for my family that helps us whenever it is needed and without explanation.  I am thankful for my family that loves our children unconditionally and who my kids feel so comfortable with.  

I am thankful for the pure joy and delight in simply opening and hanging Christmas decorations.  It's nice to be reminded and see it from the eyes of kids.  

 I am thankful for good friends who don't see the true differences that exist among each other.

...and I am thankful for the simple pleasures in life.  For fun times, for laughter, for big smiles....

Today we took the kids to the Fresh Beat Band concert.  It was SO. MUCH. FUN. to watch Colin have such a great time (Kailey could care less AND she fell asleep on me but it was still fun!).

So, I got THIS picture today....

...and I can't stop looking at it.  I am drawn into those beautiful blue eyes of his and my heart is just filled with love.  It's been a rough week but mostly because I think we are dealing with some issues again because of his anemia (he's been off of the iron supplement for a few weeks so that the most recent blood work would show the true levels of some other numbers the hematologist is trying to get) and he's been pretty stubborn.  He seems tired during a lot of activity so I'm hoping to figure some of this out soon.  I've also been struggling with the potty training stuff but then he went ahead and told our friend Jorie today that he was going to go potty, went into the bathroom by himself, undressed and used it without any help (nor were we even allowed in the room).  He constantly finds ways to remind me to be patient (even though it's not always easy).  It's been fun watching his progress in other areas lately though because he's been making such great strides with his handwriting (especially his motivation to use a writing utensil) and his language.  

We had a fun playdate today with our friends and I love seeing our kids together.  It was a great way to end the weekend!

Teaching Inclusion

When Colin was born, Chris and I spent a good amount of time searching for a daycare facility that would be the best fit for him.  Our anxieties were higher at the time because it was really important to us to make sure that we were always working on things we were learning in therapy to help Colin.  It makes me laugh looking back on it because our list for our "babysitters" (family and friends) included what exercises or activities they should be doing with him.  When we found a place that we felt the most comfortable with, the teachers that worked with him went above and beyond and always did what we asked of them.  Colin had a group of friends that grew up with him from class to class.  

When it became evident that we were going to have to find a new facility for Colin and Kailey this year, we were really upset that we were going to have to start both of them (but especially Colin) in a new place away from the kids they had literally grown up with and away from the teachers who had done so much to help Colin throughout the years.  He had his group of buddies who treated him as if he were any other kid and never saw the true differences.  

Using some pretty valuable references, we started Colin and Kailey in the new daycare this year.  Colin's teachers have been really open to trying new things with him, working hard on skills, and pushing him to do new things (for example, standing up to pee in the potty!).  Despite our initial worries and concerns (mostly because of a bad experience in trying a new place with Colin last year), we have been really happy with the change and feel that we have now found another place that is allowing our kids to grow in the best possible way away from us.  In addition, Colin has really found a group of new friends who are treating him just the same.  They are such a cute group because they always have to make sure they give Colin hugs and kisses when he leaves to go home (and vice versa) and seem genuinely happy to spend time with him.  

He was invited to a birthday party today at a bounce place that I was initially hesitant to say yes to.  It was a Sunday and I didn't really know any of the other parents but I thought it would be a good experience to meet new people and see Colin interact with his friends.  I am so happy I decided to go because when we walked in, one of the girls screeched "Hey guys! Come here! Colin's here!!!!!" and they all ran over to give him hugs and high-fives.  A few of them even turned to their parents to say "mom! dad! That's Colin!".  I literally had tears in my eyes because I realized then that adults could learn a very valuable lesson from young children.  

These children play with, interact with, and help him without seeing the differences that exist in their makeup.  They were patient when he couldn't climb up the ladder fast enough, gently coaxed him into trying new things and led him from one activity to the next without paying attention to the fact that it was a little bit harder for him to do some things. They were genuinely happy to just play with their friend. When does it become such a fight to have kids with disabilities included into general education classrooms?  When does the separation start in some instances?  Life is so simple for young children.  Sadly, everything about education is becoming so negative these days, regardless if you are talking about special education or regular education.  I think we could all learn a thing or two from kids...  

I so wish I could post some of the group pictures I got of Colin with his friends.  It makes me so incredibly happy to look at them and see these kids pose with their arms around each other.  

....just another reminder that Colin is more alike, than different...

Monmouth Hawks Basketball

It's hard to believe that we blinked and the fall is over already.  Now that our "winter" season has started, it also means that basketball season is upon us, one of the things that Colin really enjoys attending.  While I wasn't crazy about going to the basketball game on a school night, I wanted to bring the kids to see Chris since he's been working so much and the next home game won't be for a few weeks.  

I attempted a quick dinner on the way by myself with the kids and I'm not so sure I'll be doing THAT again any time soon.  

Colin was really excited when we got to the Hawks basketball game but I could tell that he was wearing his nervous face.  I think that he has to adjust to this kind of environment again and I also think that he was pretty tired from school and then feeding therapy today.  Kailey was also excited, but sat calmly as soon as she got her bucket of popcorn.  

The thing that I am going to find to be the most difficult this season is the fact that Colin could sit and watch the game but Kailey does nto have the patience to do the same.  Fortunately, there are areas for them to run around and lots of other kids as well.   

 Here's to another basketball season!

Daddy

Chris has been traveling a lot for work lately and Colin is having the hardest time out of any of us.  As long as we stick to a pretty normal routine he does ok and with the added benefits to technology, we get to "see" him pretty regularly.  However, towards the end of a long stretch, Colin often gets weepy and starts asking for his Daddy more and more.  

There is nothing quite like the reaction of a little boy who has really been missing his Daddy when he comes home!  They are the best of buddies!